When Life Is Not What We Hoped For...

During this Lent season, my home church is doing a series dealing with grief, depression, and the trials of life. So this Sunday March 3, 2013 - the 3rd Sunday of Lent our topic was - "When life is not what we hoped for or expected". I think this is a very relevant topic because if we are honest with each other, none of us could say that life is or has been all that we had hoped for or expected. We all have disappointments, heartaches and trials that shake us to our core when we are in the thick of it. So in this blog post I want to share some of what was taught at my church on this topic.

Thought for the week - A clear conscience makes a soft pillow.

Psalm 13 How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord? for ever? how long wilt thou hide thy face from me?

 How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? how long shall mine enemy be exalted over me?

 Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death;

 Lest mine enemy say, I have prevailed against him; and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved.

But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation.

 I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me.

Pastor Ben was our speaker today. Here is some of what he said.

We are learning how to walk with people in brokenness, when people are hurting. Walking with people when life isn't what they had hoped for or expected.

There are many examples we could think of. A few of them are singleness, infertility, divorce.

We need to see people with the eyes of Jesus. See people as Jesus does. We are learning to be the "hands and feet" of Jesus.

Listening to People -

We need to learn to listen to people, really listen, focus your attention on them as they are speaking and gauge your response to them by listening to their situation.

Too often we have solutions to offer before we have even listened to the person who is sharing their problem with us.

We need to talk about things that matter, really matter. 

We need to get beyond talking about sports and the weather - go to a deeper level.

Don't demand that they tell you everything. You need to earn the right to have people open up to you.

Talking about real stuff is scary - we are afraid we will not have solutions to the problem.

We need to become vulnerable - 

We are all broken, we are all in a hurting world.

Do not judge or label people because of the situation they are in.

God's Will - God's Ideal Will / God's Permissive Will

God's Ideal Will is no sin, sickness or disease in our lives. But He has given us the freedom of choice to live our lives according to our own choices. We have the freedom to choose good or evil. This is where His permissive will kicks in. We experience brokenness. He has allowed these things into our lives as His permissive will. He will use all of our brokenness for good if we allow Him to. 

God can take the bad stuff and make good come out of it. God grieves the evil and brokenness, but He allows it.

Humbleness - 

Walk humbly with people.

Don't assume you know the mind of God.

Listen to their heartache.

God is always at work!

John 13:34 

 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

Planning for Tomorrow and for Life...

Life is a continual path of making choices and decisions and plans. Some of the decisions we must make are clear and straight forward while others are very difficult and in our minds we toss around the pros and cons. Praying for God's guidance, and seeking His direction from the Bible are the most important ways to receive the input that we need in our decision making. In James 4:13-15 we find these words:
¹³ Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain:
¹⁴ Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.
¹⁵ For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
From this passage we understand that our lives are in the Hand of the Lord. The fact that we are breathing and have life in our bodies today is a gift from the Lord. We need to recognize that it is a gift from the Lord that we are able to have a job, earn money, and that His purposes for our lives override anything that we think we may personally want to do with our lives and for ourselves.   If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.
We look not to what other people have in their lives, or what they do with their lives and thereby choose to do what they do in order to live a happy copycat life.... No - we seek the direction and path that God has chosen for us as individuals and ask - Lord what do you have planned for me - how can I serve You and fulfill the plan you have for me?? The road God has chosen for you may be very difficult and unglamorous but still by the power of God filled with hope and joy as you see Him working and proving the truth of the Bible over and over again.
Where is God leading me and what does He want from me? - these are hard questions for many people but we need not doubt the Lord in His plans for us. No matter who we are or what age and stage of life we are in - God has plans for us.  Many elderly people wonder how they can be used of the Lord in their later years. I would like to encourage anyone who is house bound for any reason to take up the role of "prayer warrior." Pray for our churches leaders and Pastors to follow the Lord and  not shrink from their responsibilities in these last days, that they preach the truth and not give way to the soft fuzzy feel good preaching that abounds today. Pray for our children, students, and youth to say NO to the culture of moral corruptness that is everywhere. Pray government leaders to stop the homosexual movement and make God honoring choices for our country. Pray for the pornography and vile entertainment business to be shut down.  Pray for health for your loved ones etc. Pray for salvation for the lost and for a spiritual awakening in our land. Keep praying even if you don't see results in your lifetime.
For a stay at home Mom as I myself am, I know that having spent most of my so called "good years" raising my three sons and now caring for my special needs daughter, my life seems very unglamourous to many people who have careers and who travel and spend time in many different places. I want to be faithful to the Lord in what He has called me to do, to be a person of prayer,  and  I add my voice to John's and say with him in 3 John 1:4  where he says:   I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

1 Peter 4: 19 Wherefore let them that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.
So if you are in a place today where you are making plans and choices for your future or just wondering what you can do for the Lord in your stage of life, - may I encourage you to seek the Lord and remember to lay up your treasure in Heaven - forget about living a life of pleasure and ease, forget about the "American Dream" and rather serve the Lord in the place he calls you to serve.
In Jeremiah 29:11 the Lord says  For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

Why does the earth quake??

Under three things the earth quakes, And under four, it cannot bear up: That is what it says in Proverbs 3:20 in the NASB. This is rather interesting. That there are actually some things that make the earth so unstable that it quakes. What are these things?  In the KJV the passage states: Proverbs 30 : 21-23
 ²¹For three things the earth is disquieted, and for four which it cannot bear:
 ²²For a servant when he reigneth;  and a fool when he is filled with meat;
 ²³For an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress.

So the first thing that causes the earth to quake is when a servant reigns. What could this mean? I know that God does things decently and in order according to 1 Corinthians 14:40 - ⁴⁰Let all things be done decently and in order."  So what if an employee somehow tried take the business away from the owner, like maybe not follow company rules but kind of do things whatever way he wished.  That would not be good and a business could not function that way for very long.  But is that not pretty much what is happening in our world today? God created the world and it belongs to Him. Psalm 24:1 ¹The earth is the LORD's, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.
So LORD made the earth and everything in it. Then He should also have the authority to instruct those of us in the world how to live, to tell us what is truth, and how to live, which is exactly what He does throughout the Bible. The Bible is the business manual or handbook with instruction as to how things are to be done. So when we are his servants, called upon to take care of business till he comes in the second coming, We are to obey Him and being disobedient to the Master would definitely cause the earth to quake. Just as in any business, when the things are not done right the boss is not pleased, and disciplinary action has to be taken. So it is also with God. He sees our disobedience to His instructions in the Bible and so disciplinary action is happening all around us which are the judgements that we see such as the tornadoes, earthquakes, outbreaks of pandemics, etc.
Next let us consider " and a fool when he is filled with meat;"  I believe this is referring to the luxurious and excessive lifestyle that so many take as "must haves". Trying to keep up with the neighbors in possessions and therefore aquiring unbearable amounts of debt. Instead of living in contentment as we should , we are told that we deserve to be able to live out the so called "American dream". Money and posessions, fame and loose living will never satisfy. This is another thing that the causes displeasure to our LORD and causes the earth to quake.
Verse 23 ^23"For an odious woman when she is married, and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress." The words odious woman simply means a woman who is not loved by her husband. I believe this verse is referring to the problem of adultery and divorce in our culture. Consistantly on the news, we hear of high ranking officials, and evangelical leaders, and politicians involved in an affair and failing in their marriages. We also see this happening in our churches, neighborhoods and families. Pornography, lust and coveteousness is rampant. God's directions are for sex within the bonds of marriage. Any other sex is immorality. God clearly states in the Bible that marriage is to be between one man and one woman and that till death.   Ephesians 5:25 -
²⁵Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Mark 10:6-9 states
 ⁶But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
 ⁷For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
 ⁸And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.
 ⁹What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
And one more verse 1 Corinthians 7:39 says ³⁹The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord.
There are many more passages that we could reference that say God made marriage to be between only one man and one woman till death.  God does allow divorce in the case of sexual immorality in order to protect the abused spouse but it never was His original plan.
The rampant immorality is abominable in the sight of God and He is prepared to deal with it.
We who are Christians are a sanctified people and not at all like the non Christian.  Our goal is to please our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in our words and our actions and bring glory to Him. This world is not our home.