Snippets from my Fridge - Family Rules and Discipline

Proverbs 6: 20-22 My son, keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck.  When thou goest, it shall lead thee; when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee.



Snippets from my fridge

I like to put pictures, little notes and reminders on my refrigerator door - maybe you do too. As I think back over the last ten or fifteen years, there have been many little snippets on my fridge. Among other things, I like to keep a few pictures of family as well as some reminder type notes to myself to help me to focus on the Lord and His purposes for me. I'd like to share a few snippets from my fridge here in this post regarding family life and discipline of children.
When our children were younger, I kept a "Family Rules" guide posted on the fridge. These were the family rules that I had posted :
1) Love one another
2) Say nice things or say nothing at all
3) No hurting anyone ever for any reason.
4) Respect each other
5) Delayed obedience is disobedience.
6) Everything you do should indicate that you are a kind and loving person.
7) Choose to be joyful

Proverbs 22:6  Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Discipline
Now as any parent can testify, the rules were not always kept but they were there set out as a constant guideline of expectations. I was told the most effective way of disciplining a child was to use this method -
Say the child's name, make eye contact, give your instruction to your child in a normal tone of voice, and only one time. The child will learn that you are serious and discipline will follow if he or she  is disobedient. Disciplining your child is hard. But there are a few points that I tried to remind myself of:
A) Am I disciplining in anger or in love - it should be in love
B) By disciplining my child in this way, am I teaching him or am I just punishing him - the goal is to teach.
C) Explain why the behavior the child has just displayed is an unacceptable - stay at this point of  talk till the child understands no matter how long it takes.
D) Carry through with the disicipline you promised would happen.

Watch my blog for more upcoming posts on snippets from my fridge link here http://sharingthefaith-northernsparrow.blogspot.ca/2012/10/faith-building-snippets-from-my-fridge.html

Church Discipline

Sunday Sermon Review September 16,2012

This is a sermon review from my home church that I attend regularly.
The topic today was titled Rescue Mission but it falls under the category of  Church Discipline.
Pastor Ben was the speaker and he continued on in the Matthew series.
The service began with the singing of several songs ( newer songs which I am sorry I cannot remember) and also an old favorite - How Great Thou Art.
The text Scripture passage was from Matthew 18: 15 - 20 which says : Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
¹⁶ But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.
¹⁷ And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.
¹⁸ Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
¹⁹ Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.
²⁰ For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

Pastor Ben suggested that we look at this passage more as a Rescue Mission than discipline because through the steps taught within the passage, the goal is the restoration of a fallen believer.
Here is some of what Ben said:
Jesus instructs us to seek people who have wandered away. Each of us is required to go to his brother or sister who is living in sin.
How do we do this without judging? We recognize that God is the only one who can make the call whether the person is saved or unsaved.
Our attitude is to rescue - not to condemn
We need to pray long and hard and examine ourselves before we attempt to go to our brother or sister who sins. We go humbly.
We must realize that we do not know the details or all the why's but at the same time it is very important to remember that circumstances do not justify sin.
Some people say - You worry about your own sin and I will worry about mine, I won't confront you if you don't confront me , we just love each other. The above statement is not how Jesus taught us. Jesus specifially says to - go tell him his fault.
At baptism we pledge to renounce all sin and to live in righteousness and truth. We make this covenant before God and with our fellow believers. Therefore we need to be willing to be involved in seeking freedom for a fellow believer.
The Three Step Process of the Rescue Mission
Step 1: You go to your brother or sister alone, point out the problem to them. The goal is that they will repent and turn from their sinful ways. You stay in relationship with them and help them to gain freedom. - go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
Step 2: The brother or sister refuses to listen to you in Step 1 so now you -  take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.  Now you take one or two others with you as you go to confront the brother or sister again. This shows unity and grace and the goal is still to restore the fallen believer back to a right relationship with the Lord.
Step 3: The fallen brother or sister still refuses to listen so now you - tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican. If the person refuses to repent at this point - he or she must be removed from service in the church and  from membership.
This doen't mean deciding  heaven or hell for the person's eternal destiny. Only God can be the judge of that. The church does not make that decision. If a person doesn't want to follow Jesus, he or she is probably not a Christian.

In verses 18-20 Jesus gives the two or three together the authority to bind or loose. This means that the church has the authority to bind the evil spirit and the darkness that holds the sinner captive and can set the person free from continuing to live in his/her sinful condition.
Sin enslaves people and makes them prisoners. We want to see freedom come to people's lives.

1 Corinthians 5:4-13
⁴ In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ,
⁵ To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
⁶ Your glorying is not good. Know ye not that a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump?
⁷ Purge out therefore the old leaven, that ye may be a new lump, as ye are unleavened. For even Christ our passover is sacrificed for us:
⁸ Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, neither with the leaven of malice and wickedness; but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
⁹ I wrote unto you in an epistle not to company with fornicators:
¹⁰ Yet not altogether with the fornicators of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or with idolaters; for then must ye needs go out of the world.
¹¹ But now I have written unto you not to keep company, if any man that is called a brother be a fornicator, or covetous, or an idolator, or a railer, or a drunkard, or an extortioner; with such an one no not to eat.
¹² For what have I to do to judge them also that are without? do not ye judge them that are within?
¹³ But them that are without God judgeth. Therefore put away from among yourselves that wicked person.

The closing song was It is Well With My Soul.