Gay Marriage in USA....judgment is sure

Yesterday was a very sad day in the history of the USA. The Supreme court ruled that homosexual marriage is now legal all across America. This is in direct opposition to God and His Word the Bible. I want to post a few articles written by credible men of faith who are saying the God's judgment is sure.

Franklin Graham on his Facebook page says :

The Supreme Court of the United States has ruled today that same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states. With all due respect to the court, it did not define marriage, and therefore is not entitled to re-define it.

Long before our government came into existence, marriage was created by the One who created man and woman—Almighty God—and His decisions are not subject to review or revision by any man made court. God is clear about the definition of marriage in His Holy Word: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

I pray God will spare America from His judgment, though, by our actions as a nation, we give Him less and less reason to do so.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 John McTernan says: 

BLOG POST: "URGENT: Supreme Court’s Trifecta of Sin and Rebellion Now Complete" 06/26/15
http://defendproclaimthefaith.org/blog/?p=34692

This month the US Supreme Court completed a perfect trifecta against God and has seal the doom of America. First it was touching Jerusalem, then it was a pro abortion decision, and now tampering with God’s holy institution of marriage.

It is over now the blessings of God with America. There is only judgment after judgment coming upon America. Only a tiny remnant of believers walk in the fear of the Lord. The rest are playing spiritual games. The games are about to come to an abrupt end.

This Supreme Court of sin declared war on God! Please get your house in order because terrible judgments are on the way and soon.

See my teaching about what triggers God’s righteous judgments on a nation:
http://www.defendproclaimthefaith.org/homosexuality_and_god…

Jude 1:7 Even as Sodom and Gomorrha, and the cities about them in like manner, giving themselves over to fornication, and going after strange flesh, are set forth for an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

James Dobson says: link to article here :

http://www.wnd.com/2015/06/i-fear-judgment-befalling-america/

Even though Friday’s re-definition of marriage by the U. S. Supreme Court was anticipated, I have found myself grieving over its implications for my country and for Western civilization itself. This radical decree will have a devastating affect on every dimension of culture.

I grieve most for what it will do to our children, our grandchildren and future generations. They will be taught that right is wrong and wrong is right, and that the teachings of Scripture are unreliable and inaccurate. How outrageous it is that boys and girls barely out of babyhood are already being introduced in some schools to perverse adult behavior.

Soon, public school textbooks throughout the country will be re-written and re-illustrated to conform to today’s ruling. It matters not that these revisions will contradict the beliefs and convictions of their parents. It will soon become the law of the land.

Many more vulnerable kids will grow up in homes with same-sex parents, obviously lacking either masculine or feminine role models. They are the real victims of the Court’s ruling.

Adults will suffer, too. I believe a barrage of court cases has already been planned against those who hold to politically incorrect views of marriage. Many of us will be dragged into court to be prosecuted or subjected to civil judgments. Some will lose their jobs, while others forfeit their businesses. Some will be persecuted and ridiculed and fined. Some may go to prison as the years unfold. Since same-sex marriage has now been determined to be a universal human right by the highest court in the land, it will trump religious liberty, churches, seminaries, Christian schools, businesses and a host of individual liberties. I also fear that judgment will befall this once great nation.

Here is the question of the hour. The organization I lead, Family Talk, is in accord with the National Organization for Marriage. This is an excerpt of its editorial released Friday:

We reject this decision and so will the American people. It represents nothing but judicial activism, legislating from the bench, with a bare majority of the Justices on the Supreme Court exercising raw political power to impose their own preferences on marriage when they have no constitutional authority to do so. It is a lawless ruling that contravenes the decisions of over 50 million voters and their elected representatives. It is a decision that is reminiscent of other illegitimate Court rulings such as Dred Scott and Roe v. Wade and will further plunge the Supreme Court into public disrepute.

Make no mistake about it: The National Organization for Marriage (NOM) [and my organization, Family Talk] and countless millions of Americans do not accept this ruling. Instead, we will work at every turn to reverse it.

The U.S. Supreme Court does not have the authority to redefine something it did not create. Marriage was created long before the United States and our constitution came into existence. Our constitution says nothing about marriage. The majority who issued today’s ruling have simply made it up out of thin air with no constitutional authority.

In his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail,” Dr. Martin Luther King discussed the moral importance of disobeying unjust laws, which we submit applies equally to unjust Supreme Court decisions. Dr. King evoked the teaching of St. Thomas Aquinas that an unjust law or decision is one that is “a human law that is not rooted in eternal law or natural law.”

Today’s decision of the Supreme Court lacks both constitutional and moral authority. There is no eternal or natural law that allows for marriage to be redefined.

Today’s decision is by no means the final word concerning the definition of marriage; indeed it is only the beginning of the next phase in the struggle. NOM is committed to reversing this ruling over the long term and ameliorating it over the short term.

Speaking now for our organization, Family Talk, I believe it is time for this nation to hold State Constitutional Conventions, which would allow certain provisions within the Constitution to be reaffirmed. Among these possibilities would be a provision to set term limits on judges and justices. Another clause would limit the scope of their power. Unelected, unaccountable judges would no longer override the other two co-equal branches of government. Finally, language would be inserted to restore what Abraham Lincoln referred to in his Gettysburg Address as government “of the people, by the people, and for the people.” Wouldn’t that be a novel idea in the 21st century?

I’ll end my comments by quoting the final words from the Manhattan Declaration, written by the late Charles Colson, professor Robby George and Dr. Timothy George. They wrote:

“… Because we honor justice and the common good, we will not comply with any edict that purports to compel our institutions to participate in abortions, embryo-destructive research, assisted suicide and euthanasia, or any other anti-life act; nor will we bend to any rule purporting to force us to bless immoral sexual partnerships, treat them as marriages or the equivalent, or refrain from proclaiming the truth, as we know it, about morality and immorality and marriage and the family. We will fully and ungrudgingly render to Caesar what is Caesar’s. But under no circumstances will we render to Caesar what is God’s.”

Franklin Graham Points to Jezebel Scriptures to Describe America from charismanews.com

"Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, and couples who cohabitate before marriage are even more likely to split. Some studies show that the proliferation of pornography available on the Internet has likely contributed to the declining marriage rate." Franklin Graham

The following is an article written by Franklin Graham. I found it on charismanews.com  

 This is a very important message, I really hope you will take the time to read the entire article.

 

 You can find the article here at this link:  Franklin Graham Points to Jezebel Scriptures to Describe America

Franklin Graham Points to Jezebel Scriptures to Describe America

7:00AM EST 2/12/2015 FRANKLIN GRAHAM

2900Shares

• Share
• Tweet
• Email
• More

Franklin Graham (Courtesy/BGEA)

The sexual revolution that began in earnest five decades ago with promises of new and liberating sexual freedoms has instead left behind a shattered moral landscape that has undermined the fabric and foundation of our nation. Casting off what was perceived as the puritanical restraints of previous generations, the '60s and '70s launched a new era of sexual experimentation. The revolution, publicly inaugurated by 1967's "Summer of Love" in San Francisco's Haight-Ashbury district, promised an enlightened age of sexual morality.

The new thinking said cohabitation wasn't really a problem. Divorce wasn't nearly as harmful as once thought. Promiscuity presented no clear and present danger to the family unit. Same-sex attraction was perfectly normal. Pornography was little cause for concern. Indeed, an entire industry developed around its spurious allure.

Fifty years later, we can see that the results have been catastrophic.

In many respects the American family is completely unrecognizable, courtesy of a failed sexual revolution that has left a devastating wake of destruction.

In certain segments of American culture, more than 70 percent of children are born to single parents and remain in single-parent households. Nationally, more than 1 in 4 children today live in households with only one parent. Demographers predict that by age 18, nearly 50 percent of all children will have lived with just a mom or dad.

Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce, and couples who cohabitate before marriage are even more likely to split. Some studies show that the proliferation of pornography available on the Internet has likely contributed to the declining marriage rate.

The freedoms promised by the sexual revolution have instead given way to ever increasing slavery and captivity to sin. The attempt to cast off moral restraint has only opened wide the devil's destructive, deadly toolbox. "For whatever overcomes a person, to that he is enslaved" (2 Pet. 2:19).

The plague of immorality has so swept across the American landscape that there is virtually no place where its corrosive influence is not felt. The pervasive, immoral reach of popular media, which actively promotes every type of sexual misconduct imaginable, constantly agitates against the biblical norms of upright, godly behavior.

The Scripture is clear: "But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you. ... For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous ... has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God" (Eph. 5:3, 5).

Today, what our society seems to value most is the freedom to do whatever we want, whatever makes us feel good. Anyone who would try to stop us from doing what we want—even when what we want is destructive to ourselves and to others—is mocked and vilified.

But God's laws and commands are given for our good. Sexuality is a gift from God to be used within His wise restraints. Like the levees that hold back mighty rivers from destructive floods, God's Word and ways are designed to keep our thoughts, passions and desires in godly bounds. They are for our good, not our harm.

"The body is not meant for sexual immorality," wrote the Apostle Paul to the Corinthian church, "but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body'" (1 Cor. 6:13). Our bodies, which one day will be redeemed, glorified bodies, are made by God for God. To flaunt His design is, in essence, to commit idolatry by prizing and delighting in what God hates.

Our culture, like ancient cultures that ultimately were destroyed in large part due to their own moral depravity, has been severely weakened. A stable family unit committed to the truth and precepts of the Bible was once the foundation and backbone of our nation. That model is now the exception, not the rule.

We know that as the end draws near, this world will be characterized by escalating violence and rampant sexual immorality. In Revelation 17 and 18, Babylon represents the "great prostitute" of the earth. It stands for the unbridled pursuit of sensual pleasures. The earth, about to be judged by the King of kings and Lord of lords, has become completely intoxicated by wanton pleasures. "For all the nations have drunk ... of her [Babylon's] sexual immorality" (Rev. 18:3).

As Christ is about to return, shouts of triumph break out as multitudes in the heavenlies declare: "Salvation and glory and power belong to our God, for his judgments are true and just; for he has judged the great prostitute who corrupted the earth with her immorality" (Rev. 19:1-2).

The only answer I know for any society in any era is the strong word of the Lord to the church in Thyatira who, though faithful in some ways, apparently tolerated sexual permissiveness that spread through the church: "I gave her time to repent, but she refuses to repent of her sexual immorality" (Rev. 2:21).

There is still time to repent. That is why Jesus is delaying His return, "not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance" (2 Pet. 3:9).

My prayer is that we do not refuse that offer while there is still time.

©2015 BGEA

Women - young and older

This is a Bible Study based on Titus 2:3-5

Titus 2:3-5

 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

The portion of Scripture that we want to study today speaks to how a woman should conduct herself, and some character traits that God expects of women. The passage first speaks to older women and then follows with clear teaching for young women. As you read this portion from the book of Titus, you may feel like it is old fashioned, maybe it was good for our mothers and you may question if it applies to your life today. May I remind you that God does not change, He is the same yesterday and today and forever, His values do not change with the changing culture and His truth and Word do not change. Therefore we know that this applies to each of us today. So with that in mind, let's take these verses one at a time and see what God is calling us to do.

Verse 3- The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

This verse is speaking to the older women among us.

God is calling older women to live holy lives. This means to be completely dedicated to the Lord in mind, body and soul. Some translations use the word "sacred", so it is my understanding that the Lord would have the older women to demonstrate what it looks like to be completely surrendered to the Lord, in words and in actions. 

The verse goes on with the instructions for older women to not falsely accuse others, to not indulge in wine. God does not want anyone to be enslaved to alcohol or other addictive substances and He is calling on older women to set the example here. Older women are teach others, able to give counsel and answer questions. As we grow older, we have already experienced many life situations, many disappointments have come our way, and we have grown closer to our Lord through these hard times. Therefore we can encourage others who are going through tough times now. God our heavenly Father is faithful, He will never forsake His own, He loves us dearly.

Verse 4- That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
Now in verse 4, the older women are instructed to teach the young women. It begin with the teaching to be sober. An explanation for this word sober is to be sober minded, this would include abstaining from alcohol and other mind altering drug addictions and substances. After all how can one manage a household if one is not clear minded. Young women are to be disciplined in mind and body. One example of this is in how we dress. You are not honoring the Lord Jesus when you expose your breasts with the low cut clothing that is so modern today, or when you wear figure revealing jeans etc.  God is honored when we dress modestly and discreetly and keep ourselves for our husband. It is not right to dress provocatively to be sexy, or to be flirtatious. Your body belongs to the Lord and to your own husband and is not for every man on the planet to gaze upon.

Next we read that the young woman is to love her husband. A good practical definition of love is "you before me, your needs before mine". This is pretty self explanitory. You put your husband and his needs before your own. This does include being a loving and willing partner with your husband in the bedroom. You keep yourself for him alone, he is the one you love, the one God has brought into your life. Do not go outside of your marriage for affirmation or any thing you think you should be getting from your husband but are not. God will fill the gap and meet your needs. You speak well of your husband,you encourage him in the good he does for you and the family. Let him know that you are proud of him and appreciate him. The husband is to be the spiritual leader in the family, God expects the husband to lead the family. The husband must always remember that his wife is a gift to him from the Lord and he needs to show her love and appreciation as a gift from the Lord.
The young woman is to love her children - As mothers we know this to be so true. A young woman will spend countless hours and energy with the children, loving them and meeting so many needs. Many times a mother is so tired from being on duty as mom 24 hours every day, 7 days a week. The needs of the children are never ending and yet being a mom is one of the greatest joys on earth. God will surely bless each mother who so diligently cares for the children that God has given. Each child is a special gift from the Lord above and must always be treated kindly and lovingly and as a true gift.

Verse 5 -To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

To be discreet, chaste - we have already touched on the topic of being discreet and chaste. This certainly does refer to how a woman dresses. As I wrote earlier, God is not honored by low cut revealing and tight clothing. This also refers to good decision making in other areas as well. We should not be extravagant and spend money unnecessarily. It is so very easy to spend more than we should, so we must always be on guard in our spirits to not allow the devil to mess us up in this area. We must be careful what we watch on TV, or the internet and we must be careful what we allow our children to watch. We must be careful of our friendships including those on Facebook and guard against gossip, we must be careful of who are children are spending time with. There is much to be cautious about and we must give ourselves to prayer and the study of the Bible in order to hear the Holy Spirit whisper words of guidance into our hearts throughout the day.

Now we come to "keepers at home" - some translations say " keepers of [their own] houses",  some say "homemakers" or "good housekeepers." The woman's first place is in the home, caring for the family and taking care of the home. These are her main responsibilities. God has created the husband and the wife with roles that compliment each other and that bring blessing and peace to the family unit. We need to trust the Lord to provide the strength needed to carry out the role that He has ordained even if it is not glamorous.

Now we come to the word "good" - this means good and kindhearted, tenderhearted - doing good from within your heart, not because it is expected of you but because in your heart you want to do that which pleases our loving heavenly Father.

Next we come to "obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed" , now you probably have questions! What does this mean? This is written as a protection for the family unit. Someone has to be the person to make the final decision in a matter, and God says it is the husband's job. This does not mean that a woman in under the authority of every man on the planet, only her own husband has authority. This type of authority is not demeaning or like a ruler, or a "do as I say or else type of authority". Not at all!!  This is a loving response on the part of both husband and wife to accomplish that which is in best for the family in the eyes of the Lord. The husband will someday give account before the Lord as to how he has lived and how he has lead the family in the role of lover, provider, spiritual leader, guide and the one who has the final word in the bigger decisions of life. There must be respect and the husband must allow his wife to give input and her perspective in these bigger family life decisions. A man and woman will see things differently and both perspectives are important, so there needs to be good constructive conversations. God wants each of us to live so as to bring glory to His Name. It will build the family life and those around us will be drawn to seek the Lord. 

Link to other Bible Studies from the book of Titus:

Instructions for Older Men


About Deceivers


Teachings from Paul

The Role of Men and Women in Marriage

My friend Raelene shared this article on Facebook. I want to share it here on my blog. The article talks about marriage and family life, the God ordained roll of both men and women in marriage. Please take the time to read the entire article. 

I believe the article is written by Mark Deduke from Red Deer Alberta. He writes the following:

Marriage is a sacred institution established by God for the primary purpose of bringing Him glory. It's main purpose is not, as some think, to procreate, or to have companionship, or to fulfill sexual needs. No. It's primary purpose is to bring glory and honor to God. It is only in marriage that we are able to carry out the commission of God to replenish the earth and to subdue it. This commission by God can only be properly accomplished in marriage where the husband and wife in faithful, covenantal relationship purpose to glorify God by having children, raising them in a godly fashion, and sending them out into the world having trained them in the ways of the Lord. This is what marriage is for. It is outward focused (for God's glory), not inward centered (for our comfort).

Unfortunately, in this world of feminism the biblical role of women has been compromised. Too many Christian men don't know how to be men since, unfortunately, many of them learn "manhood" from one of two main role models on TV: the wimpy, bumbling male buffoon who is the object of laughter or the macho stud who can kill thousands with his bare hands and then go fornicate his brains out. Add to this sad state of affairs the unbiblical allowance of teenage rebellion and disrespect (due mostly to parental failure) and it is obvious that families are under attack. What is a Christian family to do?

The answer is simple. Men, it starts with you. So listen up. You are the ones responsible for your families. You are the ones who are the heads of your families. This is how God set the family structure up. God made the first married couple in a certain order and gave them certain duties. Adam was made first and God put him in charge of the Garden (Gen. 2:7,15). Adam looked for a helpmate from among all the animals and found none suitable (Gen. 2:19-20). So, God made Eve to aid him in the commission God had given Adam (Gen. 2:22). It was Eve's purpose to aid Adam in accomplishing the will of God. Furthermore, remember that sin entered the world through Adam, not Eve, even though she sinned first (Rom. 5:12). God addressed Adam for the failure, not Eve. To use an analogy, it was Adam who was the captain of the ship and when it went aground, he was the one God came to. Therefore, the responsibility of the family falls on the man. If you don't like it, that is too bad. That is how God set it up.

The healing of the Christian family begins with the head: the husband. The husband needs to take the helm and lead the family in spiritual matters -- whether he likes it or not. He can't be perfect at it and that's okay, but he is responsible for carrying out his duties as a husband and for loving his wife as Christ loved the church (Eph. 5:25). This is a very tall order to love his wife as Jesus loves us. But that is our calling. It is love in the family, lead and exemplified by the husband that sets the tone of the marriage. He is responsible for the well being of the family. It is to Him that God will come and require an account. This is serious business and the man needs to take it seriously.

Aside from the unfortunate reality where women must lead due to divorce, widowhood, separation, etc., if the woman is the leader in the family it is because the man has not taken his proper place. The man is the spiritual head, the discipler of the family (1 Cor. 14:34-35), the teacher, the one responsible for the the material, financial, and spiritual well being of his family (1 Tim. 5:8). It is a tall order, but it is simply the way it is. And one more thing: a family is a family by virtue of the covenant bond of marriage. It does not become a family once children arrive. Children are welcomed into the family at birth and need to be taught how to be proper, godly members of God's covenant family.

But what of the wife? What is her responsibility in marriage? It is simple. She is to respect, honor, and support her husband (Eph. 5:33). She is to encourage him to be the leader. She is to not undermine his position has head. This means that wives should not show him disrespect by speaking ill of him behind his back to anyone else. In addition, though many women will not like it, the woman's primary responsibility is to take care of the home (Tit. 2:3-5) and to make it a suitable place for the family to dwell as she aids her husband and nurtures the children (1 Thess. 2:7) with love (Tit. 2:4).

Of course, the husband and wife are both responsible for overlapping and helping each other as they love one another (1 Cor. 13), but the primary duty of a husband is to love and provide. The primary duty of a wife is to nurture and respect.

Is this important? Absolutely! Is it popular? No. But, it is what God calls us to do as Christians. So I ask you, how important is your family to you? How seriously are you considering them before God, not just in provision, but in love, nurturing, honor, training, and godly upbringing?

MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ...

 Colossians 3:19  Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.


I got this story from my friend Kathy's FB page. It's a longer story but so worth the read.


MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ... ( Kailyn 's photo )

“When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. 

The Gift of Belonging - in marriage and family life

Jeremiah 31:3
The Lord hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.

Ephesians 5: 24-26 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

We all have the need to feel that we belong. We have a need to feel accepted in our families, circles of friends, churches and communities. This is true for everyone regardless of age, gender, race or financial status. Young children need to feel loved and accepted by their parents, as teens also do. Even adult children will continue to look for acceptance from their parents. It is important that parents spend much time pouring into the life of their children. No amount of money or extravagant gifts can take the place of quality time spent with your child. Not only are many good memories formed this way but the gift of belonging will be experienced by your children. Read the Bible to your children and pray with them. Take an interest in what is going on in their life and with their friends. Talk with your kids and treat them with respect.

 A wife needs to feel loved, accepted and appreciated by her husband. A husband needs love and acceptance from his wife. I remember when my husband and I were in premarital counselling many years ago, our Pastor pointed out this need of belonging that we have. Perhaps women are even more needy in this area than men. Our Pastor suggested that a husband should show love and appreciation to his wife in public regularly. This includes verbal affirmation of course but also simple things like holding hands with your wife or putting your arm around her in church or in other public settings. By doing this publically and in honesty you are declaring to your wife and everyone around "She is mine and I am proud to be able to call her mine!" This is the gift of belonging. Get to know your wife. God is first, but next is your spouse. Your spouse is a gift from the Lord a your greatest treasure. A wife needs to show love and respect to her husband. This includes listening to him when he talks to you, encouraging him in his line of work, straight up telling him that you admire him and that he is good at different things. This also includes being a willing and loving partner to your husband in bed. This also includes dressing modestly and absolutely no flirting with other men, as well as no bad mouthing your husband in conversation with other women.

 Our need to "belong" is also Spiritual. Knowing that we belong to the Lord Jesus takes a lot of the anxiety and stress out of life. If we have committed our life to the Lord Jesus and have repented of our sin and invited Him as Savior, we can be sure that the eye of the Lord is upon us, loving and caring for us in all of our life circumstances. Nothing can separate us from our Lord. And we have the assurance of eternal life in Heaven when our days are done here on this earth. 

The assurance of belonging to the Lord is of even greater importance than any human friendship or relationship. Belonging to Jesus puts a new joy in our heart that none other can give. The Lord wants to be in relationship with us. He longs for us to be in constant communication with Him. 



1 Peter 3:1-10  Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.

10 For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile:

Valentine's Day - more than flowers....

 Happy Valentine's Day to my husband - all my love to you Cliff!





1 John 4:9-11 says  In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
 Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
 Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another

Most of us will spend time and money to get that right Valentine's gift for that special person in our lives. We want it to have meaning and we want to somehow express our love through it. To show this kind of love is important on a special day like today.

BUT..... more important than flowers or chocolate or that romantic supper you have planned for your spouse, is the love that you show everyday. Flowers and chocolate will have very little meaning if that love you claim to have for your spouse today is not lived out tomorrow, next week, next year and the rest of your life!

So what is important?
1) exclusive love - The love we have for our spouse must be exclusive. Our spouse is the only one that holds "the spot" in our heart. No one else will be offered that spot ever nor will we allow anyone to steal that "spot ever"! It belongs to my spouse alone.

2) faithfulness - Faithfulness to our spouse is extremely important. If we fail in this area, our whole life will be destroyed. There is no sensible woman who will accept being "one of many".  No, the fact is true love demands faithfulness, and exclusive love till death do part. No other option is acceptable.

3) in good days as well as bad - Someday either you or your spouse will have a bad day, perhaps due to circumstances beyond your control or due to illness.  Exclusive faithful love is what is required here - there is no plan B. In these times of hardship, your spouse may not be able to meet all your needs but real true love is not selfish. True love is a serving love. The needs of your spouse become the focus and your own needs and desires are put aside. You are not going to fill your own needs and desires with any other thing or person - like I said , there is no plan B.

4) encourage your spouse - Lavish your spouse with words of affirmation and encouragement.  Tell him/her about the love you have in your heart and the feelings you have for him/her. Open your heart up and tell your spouse the deep things inside your heart. Tell your spouse about the exclusive love that you have for him/her. Tell your spouse that you will be faithfull all the days of your life.

5) go public about your love for your spouse - Let the people around you know that your spouse is the only one for you. Say it verbally, out loud for everyone to hear! Even if you have been married for years, be public about this regularly. Hold hands with your spouse. Put your arm around her in church or other public places. Catch the twinkle in her eye that says I love you.

6) issues that need resolving - do it privately and seek help from your pastor when necessary.  Never put down your spouse in public even if you are upset. Show respect one toward another.

7) give your kids a Valentine's gift - the gift of showing love to your spouse everyday of the year, it will help them immensely to see Dad loving Mom and also Mom loving Dad!!

8) forgiveness - There are no lasting relationships without forgiveness. That is a quote from James McDonald. How very true it is. We must be willing to forgive each other. Forgiveness can be hard but it is worth it and the relationship you have with your spouse will be stronger for it.

Defining Sexual Immorality

1 Thessalonians 4: 3-7 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one should take advantage of and defraud his brother in this matter, because the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also forewarned you and testified.
What is more destructive than sexual immorality? We have seen time and time again how a man or woman basically destroys everything that has any real significance in his or her life by participating in this horrific sin.
The Bible is very clear that Christians are to abstain from every type of sexual immorality. There is no excuse because of how clear the Bible is on this issue. Sexual involvement outside the bond of marriage is unholy, and dishonors God. It ruins the chances of having a good relationship with your spouse or any future spouse ( if you are not currently married), with your family,  as well as destroying one's own body. The Bible teaches in Romans 6:23  For the wages of sin is death,. This death certainly means death in your relationship with the Lord, in your relationship with the people close to you as well as it can mean physical death.
 So what does sexual immorality mean in Biblical terms? When all is said and done it is God who sets the standard for holy living so it is important to remember that what we find in the Bible is God's standard and we need to abide by the words of the Bible.
The word sexual immorality or fornication ( as is used in the King James Bible) comes from the Greek word pornia which is translated pornography in the English language. It is a broad term which includes all forms of sexual immorality.

Sexual immorality includes:

Lust and pornography -  Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Adultery - is extramarital sex and also lust. It is included in the ten commandments and in the Old Testament law required the death penalty . It destroys the soul of the one participating in it - Proverbs 6:32 says But whoso committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul.

Incest - is sex with a close relative who is not your spouse. Also required the death penalty in
Leviticus 18: 6-7 None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their nakedness: I am the Lord.
The nakedness of thy father, or the nakedness of thy mother, shalt thou not uncover: she is thy mother; thou shalt not uncover her nakedness.
Deuteronomy 27:22  Cursed be he that lieth with his sister, the daughter of his father, or the daughter of his mother. And all the people shall say, Amen.

Homosexuality - is sex with a person of one's own gender - male with male, female with female. It is strongly condemned in both the Old and New Testament . Romans 1:26 -27  For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature.  Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.
Leviticus 18:22 You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination
Homosexuality also required the death penalty in Leviticus 20:13  If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.

Beastiality - is sex with an animal  - also punishable by the death penalty in the Old Testament 
Exodus 22:19 Whoever lies with an animal shall surely be put to death
Deuteronomy 27: 21  Cursed be he that lieth with any manner of beast. And all the people shall say, Amen.


The only sex blessed by God and that brings honor to His Name is that of a husband and wife who are married to each other - commited till death do part.

Divorce - Sunday Sermon Review

Sunday Sermon Review - September 30, 2012
( from my home church that I attend regularly)

Matthew 15: 4-6 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

Topic - Divorce
Text - Matthew 19:1-13 entire text posted at the bottom of this post.

Today Pastor Ben preached at our church. Continuing on in our Matthew series, he spoke on the topic of divorce. Here is some of what he said:

Divorce causes a lot of pain. We are all affected by the divorce of a couple we know. Some of you may be divorced.
The problem of divorce is not new nor only a modern day problem.
God's ideal plan for marriage from the beginning of creation is seen in the first couple of chapters of Genesis. God created male and female - joined them together to become one under God. This was God's original plan and he ordained it from the start before sin entered the world.

What does it mean to become one?
It does not mean doing everything together with your spouse or agreeing with him/her all the time. God created each individual unique and wants you to be you.
Becoming one means - you do not put your own needs ahead of those of your spouse? The question is not - What do I want to do today but rather "What would my spouse like to do?"
It means taking on the hopes and dreams of your spouse.
It means being joined together and commited to face life together.
It means keeping your wedding vows - For richer and poorer, in sickness and in health , in better times and in worser times, forsaking all others and being faithful to you alone till death separates the marriage.
God is the One who binds us together with our spouse in our marriage.
Becoming one means to become intimate in all aspects of life - emotional, physical and spiritual
You share your deepest and darkest secrets with your spouse.
You are commited to facing life together till the end.

The context of this passage is that the Pharisees are trying to trap Jesus with the question on divorce - Matthew 19: 3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
The Pharisees remind Jesus that Moses allowed a written divorcement - Verse 7 Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
The answer is found in verse 8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
Due to the hardness of people's hearts - Pastor Ben stressed the importance of have a soft and forgiving heart in order to become one with your spouse in your marriage.  Failure in marriage is a result of sin and hardheartedness.
Pastor Ben took time to point out that singleness is also an option that is blessed by God just as marriage is a blessed option in life.
Pastor Ben now went on to Verse 9 in the passage where it says:  And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
Notes from me  - As Pastor Ben was trying to explain this verse there seemed to be a barrier that prevented him from being clear in his explaination of this verse. Perhaps it is due to the fact that so many people are hurting from a broken marriage.
 Personally I think Jesus is very clear in Verse 9 and Jesus says here that there is one condition in which divorce is an option and that is if there is fornication of any kind within the marriage. Fornication here refers to sexual immorality - that is  any sexual activity outside the bond of the husband and wife togetherness. So this includes any kind of sexual immorality - premarital sex, extramarital sex, prostitution, homosexuality, pornography and beastiality etc.
According to the notes in my Bible, the part of verse 9   and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. refers to a man who marries a woman who has been divorced because of immorality in her own body. So basically any person who becomes divorced due to immorality in his or her own life is not to be married again to another person at all.

Matthew 19: 1-13 And it came to pass, that when Jesus had finished these sayings, he departed from Galilee, and came into the coasts of Judaea beyond Jordan;
² And great multitudes followed him; and he healed them there.
³ The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?
⁴ And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,
⁵ And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
⁶ Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
⁷ They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?
⁸ He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.
⁹ And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.
¹⁰ His disciples say unto him, If the case of the man be so with his wife, it is not good to marry.
¹¹ But he said unto them, All men cannot receive this saying, save they to whom it is given.
¹² For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.
¹³ Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them.